Brenda:
Oh yes I really did not choose the date, I think it more or less chose me...It is the day of the longest night. I recall that I was traveling alone, south bound on the NY Thruway and it was very late (almost early in fact). I was at a very low point. It came to me then, that if I allowed myself to sink further, I would not have the strength to extricate myself from the things that weighed on me so heavily. Funny how some moments become embedded in memory with such clarity.
In any case, at that moment, I made a mental list of the things I would do to return to life. I was aware enough to realize that I was physically, mentally and spiritually drained. However, I still had a core of strength and I resolved to apportion a measure of that strength to each of the tasks on the list. One of those tasks was to end smoking.
I put my rose-colored glasses away a long time ago, so all of this was done in a rather business like fashion. I did in fact underestimate the amount of effort cessation would require. However, it was a good starting point, because in order to be successful, I had to force myself to take on other activities such as running, weight lifting, dietary study etc. In many ways the goal of cessation was a spring board to discovering many things that I had either forgotten or buried beneath a blanket of grief.
Through out all of this I have come to the conclusion that there are three things in life that are essential (for me that is)...The first of these is awareness, the second is acceptance and the third is appreciation. Applying these concepts to my existence allowed me to become smoke free. And that makes me very happy...Even on the day of the longest night...
stay well
nonic
My Milage:My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 1095
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 32,850
Amount Saved: $11,497.50
Life Gained:Days: 208
Hrs: 23
Mins: 32
Seconds: 37
