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Addicted to being an addict? I don't even know if I've been restarting or never quitting

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

I'm really confused as to what type of addict I am and could use some advice from anyone in a similar boat. I smoked all through high school and university. Especially when I drank heavily. Never more than 10-15 a day (still a lot) usually but on drinking nights I hit it much harder. Then I just quit. Did hypno therapy and gum for three weeks then went cold turkey. Became an anti smoker and was clean for years! Then I started again, kind of. Have a couple here and there when drinking then not touch it again for weeks. Buy a pack, have a few give it away to friends. Start and stop start and stop for twelve years! I'd have periods of months when I was clean and smokes were the furthest thing from my mind. Quitting after a lapse was never a problem. Now I started again...no more than 5-8 per day but consistant. Stop for a couple of days but came back. What's the matter with me? I don't have what it takes to go back to a half pack a day as it digusts me and shuts me right down. But I keep coming back and complete abstinance never seems to carry on. This last day is tougher because I know that I cannot allow myself a couple here and there in a week or a month or ever. It's like I have a need to inflict damage on myself intermittently and do it by puffing. Anyone else seen this? Am I one of those annoying guys that can just "quit whenever he wants" but is just deluding himself. Sorry for the length, its my firs post ever in one of these things. You guys are all very strong and it's great to see you supporting each other in the other posts. Good on you. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/13/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 0 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

Your both bang on and I'm glad to have a community that I can draw strength upon. It was beginning to grow and had to be extinguished once and for all! Looking forward to the day when my quit meter hits the triple digits!

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

YESSS...bang on, I am a binge smoker. I don't why that designation didn't jump to mind for me right away. I was a binge eater for the longest time too till I said enough was enough and dropped 30lbs of fat two years ago and kept it off. No more solving problems by indulging. Got to use the same mechanisms to prevent the binge smoking. Thank you for this...it really triggered something in me Next step...curing the binge drinking.....

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2039

Hey Mithrask27, I agree with Katy. For some reason you always found your way back to smoking. In a way that's like me. After not smoking for 4 months, I found my way back to them. Its like I deliberately wanted to sabotage myself. Almost like smoking was still there if I still wanted it. Even after 4 months I don't think I was ready to really let cigs go. Cigs were a friend, there in good times and bad. But that's the rub. We've been duped, hoodwinked if you will. We chose to put to the back of our minds just how dangerous and devious smoking really is. My brother-in-law died of lung cancer at 50 years old - 2 pack a day smoker. That's the truth behind smoking. So stick with your quit and post often, especially when the going gets tough. All the best, Jan [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 2 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 80 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $18 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 2 [B]Seconds:[/B] 1

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1985

Mithras gonnadoii gave you a very cool label. Your story reminded of a person who I grew up with. We both started smoking at about 13. She never smoked more that 10 cigs a day for the first 10 years of hrt smoking career. My first 10 years I increase to a pack and a half. By age 30 she was smoking 3 to 5 cigs a day and then decided that smoking didn' do anything for her. She hasn't picked up a cig in 25 years and I'm absolutely certain she never will. It always amazed me how she had control over those cigs. She must be one in thousand or ten thousand.

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3131

Mithras 27, wow the junkie is strong, I was reading your post and thinking, how come he can do that and I can't , N.O.P.E for me not one puff ever of this junk or else I'm back to 16 or more a day. 5 a day is too much one is too much, seems to me you're smoking more and more (one here and there, one or 2 a week, now 5 a day) stop it altogether you can do it, don't smoke, then you'll be a non-smoker. This is the only way to do it don't light one. Don't mean to be tough just a little scared for you . :)Marie [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/13/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 92 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,389 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $368 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 12 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 6 [B]Seconds:[/B] 44

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2838

My ex-husband was an alcoholic. He would go months without, but when he did he stayed drunk for a couple of days straight. You are a binge-smoker! You now have a label :)

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 8760

Mithras27, Take some time and look back. Why did you start smoking again? Any triggers? Stress? Boredom? If you can pinpoint some of the reasons why you go back to smoking, you'll be able to start putting a plan that will help you curb your problem. Keep us posted. Danielle _______________________________ The SSC Support Team

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 586

Hi and welcome, Mithras. :) [quote] Am I one of those annoying guys that can just "quit whenever he wants" but is just deluding himself. [/quote] You can quit whenever you want so you're certainly not deluding yourself in that respect ...however... You are deluding yourself if you feel a problem hasn't or isn't developing. If this wasn't an issue for you, then I truly doubt that you'd be here posting with us right now. You've increased to 5-8 per day...so it seems your body is becoming tolerant and requiring more nicotine...ever so gradually. You're far from being the only one. Why don't you join us for a while? Work the program here. You'll learn so much that will help you with this. Catch this thing before it becomes a monster and learn how to deal with it for good :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/2/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 588 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 11,772 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2099.16 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 62 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 46 [B]Seconds:[/B] 48

Quit Meter

$20,422.50

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 768 Hours: 0

Minutes: 30 Seconds: 44

Life Gained
Quit Meter

5250

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

105,000

Cigarettes Not Smoked

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 763

First off, you are a "nicotine" addict. and secondly, I personally believe you have never actually "quit smoking". You abstained for short periods, perhaps even one long period, but you always kept it sitting there to come back to. Nicotine addiction is insidious. It presents itself in such a way that you don't realize you are an addict till way way after the fact.....and my friend, you are an addict. As you see, your usage is continuing to grow. You can't bargain when you are addicted. It simply won't work. and yes, I think you are deluding yourself about being able to quit.....cause so far you STILL smoke.....quitting means NO smoking....not one puff. You have to "choose" to not smoke....then you commit and become determined that you will not light up no matter WHAT! no smoking so trash the smokes and DO it for real.....no looking back....no side steps....march straight forward into the NO smoking zone It can be done.....take it from one who knows Katy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/4/2002 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1713 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 68,547 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $9764.1 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 223 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 32 [B]Seconds:[/B] 19

Quit Meter

$160,520.50

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 5982 Hours: 4

Minutes: 20 Seconds: 54

Life Gained
Quit Meter

45863

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

917,260

Cigarettes Not Smoked

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Addicted to being an addict? I don't even know if I've been restarting or never quitting